Too many options confuse me !!

I need to do MBA, or rather I should improve on my technical skills and try for a better job and earn more by using my H1 B option or rather I should switch job at offshore and settle in some good city or I should not do any of these and keep going on with whatever life gives me and just improving on my day to day goals of learning tennis, reducing weight and improving stamina..God, someone help me please in this turmoil.

Well, as I guess everyone would have experienced, I am too confused with multiple options. I do not have my goals clearly lied down. I am on the crossroads of career and dunno where to go from here!!

Why does life gives so many options when only one can be fulfilled at a time. When I ponder more over this, I conclude that it is actually my cowardiness or lack of confidence in myself that is driving all these confusion. I am not excellent at technical skills, I agree I have learnt whatever technical skills I know, over a period of time while at job, but my roots are not deep down, they are very shallow on ground level and a mere breeze can unroot my professional tree. I try to improve upon these aspect of mine but I hardly get time to do this or rather I am not so willing to.

When it comes to pursue a business post graduation, I think am good at root level though, as a true Marwari blood runs deep down my nerves even after a good IT career. But here too the failure comes to my thoughts since the tree is without leaves or rather stems itself. I have not gathered much information over time on various aspects of life, business, and in short any and every worldly, past and current affairs. This makes me feel that I will have to do a lot of exercise to get to a point of succeeding in any personal interview or group discussion. The turmoil hence continues.

I am a H1 B holder, I can switch to any damn company offering me a good job here, I can encash this opportunity atleast, but then comes the thought of all the US recession going on, job markets getting worse and worse, and even if I get one, what my future has after marriage is a question, never answered yet..I don't know whether I will continue in US or will go back to India and get settle there itself.

Well, amidst all these dilemmas, I am continuing my present state of affairs and with whatever I have on palette, but this keeps killing me everyday as I can't concentrate on anything. I lost all my tennis matches, I am not taking care of my body and health, I am not giving much output at work too, and not doing those things which used to make me feel great like cooking and chatting to friends. I am just behaving very much opposite of what I was before.

Reading Unbound India, inspired me today with a risk taking approach of marwaris and gujjus as in Birlas and Ambanis. If I believe I can do it even somewhat, it is better to give it a shot rather than just filling white space of this blog. but stil I am in search of a trigger, a provocating thought or advice, a word of comfort for my mind, a feeling of backing me up with whatever I get in risking my career.
Can you help me out?

Nostalgia !

Wat has happened to me, I am not the same Vikas any more !!
I can't focus on work, in fact don't feel like working anymore, just wanna take a long vacation and enjoy life as it is. I lost my concentration from so many things including writing, sports & even friends..Man I am lost..............



India trip was so beautiful but after that nothing has remain the same as I left it before. Life's killing me here in US with all new faces..Time keeps on rolling without much of personal development. I m just not liking it and feeling as if I am lost..

I do not know what to do when I come from office, I do not know whom to talk to when I m down. I think I m missing someone very dearly. Am I missing all those dear ones whom I left for my own sake? I decided long ago that I will never miss them, or at least I would pretend not to, then why I m not able to do so now. Why am I feeling nostalgic?
Why am I craving for the best times spent back in India rather than enjoying the fruits of US? Why am I longing for my fiancee, my parents and my friend??

Its human to miss and long. It is that psychological behavior of human mind that leaves impression of better times more distinct than not so better. And under those longing times the logical part of mind is overtaken by the emotional part and results in agony and pain of missing someone dear. These are the times when if someone or something tries to come near by showing warmth and love, can easily enter the circle of trust. Also, these are the times when one can be easily uprooten and taken advantage of.

Well, the best thing to do in these times is resort to old trusted friends than making any new commitments. Also, try to do things that you like apart form talking to dear ones. Its kinda jet lag which takes its own time to go.

I m sure with all these facts known to me, I will surely be over this sooner than later, However, I hope that I never have to depart from my loved ones anymore ever !